You want to go out and party on a Friday night, but he’d rather stay in and watch a movie.
You like speaking about what bothers you, but she likes to keep it to herself.
You believe in being a vegan, he loves a good steak.
So how do these differences affect your compatibility with each other?
How successful a relationship is, is directly proportional to how compatible the two people in the relationship are, with each other. And of course, this is no secret. While we all seek compatibility with our partners, how do we really understand what true compatibility is? It’s easy. To be able to measure compatibility, psychologists have broken it down into six specific areas. These areas capture the all-round personality traits of any individual. So, if you are wondering how to gauge if you an your Significant Other are compatible, here are the six aspects you should consider.
This dimension of an individual’s personality is reflective of how they perceive themselves, their emotional status and energy, and how passionate they are when it comes to nurturing romantic relationships. For example, if you can characterize someone as a happy person, who is self-confident and sensitive, that would be their emotional temperament you are referring to.
While emotional temperament has got to do more with an individual’s intimate personality traits, social style dictates how the person behaves outside of his/ her comfort zone. Traits such as character, kindness, dominance, sociability and adaptability define an individual’s social style. Appreciate it when he is kind to a waiter who accidentally spilled a bit of water? Well, that’s his social style.
This is one of the most difficult dimensions to find compatibility in. A lot of times we hear people say, “it didn’t work out because we had very little in common – there was not much that we could really speak about or do together.” The cognitive mode of an individual captures their intellect, curiosity, humor and artistic passion. Compatibility in this particular aspect, can be truly fulfilling because you and your partner will never run out of things to speak about, and do together.
Physicality includes not just the degree of sexual intimacy an individual enjoys, but also a wide range of other physical factors which contribute to overall compatibility. For example, how physically active or passive one is – do you or your partner enjoy recreational activities which involve physical effort, such as trekking? Are you someone who likes to stay physically fit and active by eating healthy food and exercising regularly? Does the idea of being on the move excite you or stress you out? All these factors contribute to the physicality of an individual.
How do you resolve a fight? By talking it out, or by shouting it out? How moody are you? If something unrelated to your partner is affecting you, do you manage it on your own or do you let it spill on your partner? Do you let a conflict escalate by being passive aggressive, or do you clear the air as soon as there seems to be a misunderstanding? All of this speaks about the relationship skills of an individual.
Values and beliefs
How religious or spiritual a person is, what his ambition in life is, what his personal values and family goals are, all of these fall under the values and beliefs aspect of compatibility. While seeking a partner, some of these aspects could be a prerequisite for many people. For example, one might only want to be with someone who shares their religion, or with someone with whom their value system matches.
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