Getting a conversation started with a stranger, that too on a matchmaking platform, is the most daunting aspect. Moreover, if you are a woman, then your inbox is often flooded with messages, complimenting you (in a creepy way) on your appearance. Creepy is never the way to go but at times, guys tend to get so awkward that it reflects on their messages. Often, this happens with guys when they choose to compliment a woman based on her appearances and think that’s the safe way to approach. However, guys, this is a big No-No.
The art of complimenting is tricky and gets trickier in a virtual setting.
With 300k users and 10M matches counting, we at Betterhalf.ai have observed and analysed what the female users might find attractive and how guys can up their game by being witty and relatable. So to all the men out there seeking a partner on a match-making app, to not come across as creepy or weird, here’s a starters’ guide that you can refer to and avoid being ghosted once again..
Get witty in your messages instead of saying ‘You are cute’
This is a thumb rule. Read the bio thoroughly. If the person is an investment banker, do a quick search online about the topic to get a witty pick up line for her rather than commenting on her display picture (DP). This will make her feel that you think about her holistically beyond mere looks. This might also point out the fact that you took out time to get to know what she does professionally and personalised your message in a witty way.
Observe, check social media
Before texting, checking out their Instagram or LinkedIn profiles might give you a better understanding of who they are as a person. Betterhalf.ai uses AI technology to connect like-minded professionals. So the person you are approaching might like music and so do you! Voila, you catch their attention by using this tactic. “I saw that you are an Ed Sheeran fan. I am a big-time admirer of the artist and I feel this is going to be ‘perfect’.” A few minutes on their social pages can get you the connection of a lifetime. Have you started stalking yet?
Hobby connect: Where the real interest lies
Most women feel that men don’t know how to interact with women who look for a healthy wavelength. To break this preconceived notion and appeal to them, try complimenting on their taste of their linkings. Once you have figured out the social media way and learnt about their hobbies and favourites, send something like ‘Hey, do you like reading Dan Brown? Me too! I must say you have a great taste in novels and thrillers.’ Nothing more can connect you so much than striking that common chord you both share. Plus, it’s flattering, but not creepy.
Compliment personality traits
Make her feel good about herself. Talking with an intelligent, smart woman can be overwhelming at times. Being honest is a nice ice-breaker and you achieve two things here: you expose yourself to understanding; and put the opposite person at ease to continue the flow of your conversation. For instance, say, “You think like a finance expert and that’s terrifying because I haven’t come across many women who are a pro in this field.”
Here, you have set a base for expressing yourself and women like people who express. Good communication could be your cupid here.
Take the ‘supportive route’
Calling out a person’s quality or skill and encouraging them to pursue can provide a morale boost to her. If the person you are interested in is a home baker or a ukulele player, while you praise them for their work, comments like ‘ Hey, you are so good at it, why not start a YouTube channel?’ or ‘I can help create a page to showcase your work, its that good,’ can really bring the two of you closer. Throwing such statements shows how much you care for their progress and are willing to be a part of what they do. And it works vice versa.
It is OK to comment on appearance, if you choose words carefully
Interacting with a person online means you will have to paint a picture with words. While the cliched, cheesy messages on appearances miserably fail, you can impress a person by complimenting their appearance, if you choose to play smart. So the trick here is to save such complimenting messages once the conversation gets flowing. Be careful on how you present it. Instead of a generic ‘Oh! You are pretty” or “You look cute”, you can focus on her features. For instance, if you like her profile picture in which she wears a green, flowy blouse, you can say, “This outfit really brings out your eyes and jawline. I think green is going to be my new favourite colour.” Sending out such a message indicates how considerate you were in crafting a compliment that actually means like one.
#Things to avoid in your profile picture
- Don’t post a shirtless photo of yours. It gives an image that you are looking for just casual hook-ups. It signals how serious you are in seeking a partner for life. So avoid shirtless poses on a bike or gym mirror selfies.
- Don’t have a photo with your ex in it. This gives the impression that you haven’t moved on from your previous heartbreak.
- Don’t post a group photo. The problem here is one, it might be difficult to identify for the opposite person until you point out yourself. And secondly, this might indicate that you are not confident of who you are, hence no solo picture. Try to get a well-lit closeup shot of yours so that there’s no assumptions and confusions.
- Don’t hide your eyes behind sunglasses. Keeping a photo with sunglasses as the display photo does not give a clear picture of how you look. Let your eyes express.