The Real Reason Why I’m Choosing To Stay Single Today And Maybe Forever!

Single Woman

Finding love in 2018 is still a play of luck. You need to get lucky and certainly not just for a night. I am generally a positive person, but trying to find love for years now has made me a cynic when now when it comes to this subject. I know there are couples out there that make us believe in happily-ever-afters. However, there are also higher divorce rates that make us repel this idea of falling for someone.

Commitment issues were non-existent a couple of decades ago, probably because they didn’t have the option of meeting genuine humans at the touch of a button. Back then, they needed wingmen/women to find decent dates for each other, and today here we are, swiping left and right all too fast to really care. It makes one wonder, have we lost our innocence or sincerity along the way?

I say I want to focus on my career, which is why I am not ready for a relationship right now. People assume I am saying this to make myself feel better, or that I am delusional. They are right, I can manage my work and relationship together. The right relationship would add value to my life, not take away from it. But that’s not half the truth. Truth also is that I am not ready for the kind of relationships that are the norm today. It requires a ridiculous investment of time, energy, and focus.

I really don’t have it in me to play flirtatious with one guy for a month, then chase him in the second month, and wonder what made the fizz go sour, in the third, and then spend the next two months wondering what went wrong. Unfortunately, it’s a never-ending cycle.

If you’re telling me that this mindless play will not affect my focus at work, then let me tell you that I am an all or nothing person, so it does unfortunately affect my work.

I do not merely go on a date with someone to have a great night. I go on dates with the intention to give love a chance.

But it seems like everybody is too occupied with giving each other chances. Chances are great, but isn’t making a choice greater?

Dating in India may have evolved, but cultural acceptance hasn’t. It is 2018 but we still need to filter our prospects by religion, casts, cultural differences etc. Forget winning over gender differences, we haven’t even resolved our basic differences. According to popular belief, matters of the heart are beyond our control. Even though, essentially, the heart is too preoccupied with running the smooth functioning of our bodies to manage any more tasks.

Science says that love is simply a chemical addiction kindled by jumpy hormones and neurotransmitters. The point I am trying to make here is that, even if you happen to find an amazing person and fall in love with them, neurotransmitters rarely get charged up for ships that are safe in their harbor. What if your cultural criteria differs? Many people give up on love, because of these petty issues, even today.

Romeo and Juliet may have belonged to the Shakespearean era, but India didn’t treat Laila Majnu and Sohni Mahiwaal too well either. Unfortunately, hate still wins over love, differences still win over acceptance. People move on, but it is no less heartbreaking today, than it was then.

Love happens, they say, or so we’ve been taught by Bollywood. In my opinion, I believe we meet people of different types in our lives but how do we find love without having to settle for patriachy, mindless games is still a question!

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1 comment on “The Real Reason Why I’m Choosing To Stay Single Today And Maybe Forever!

  1. Completely relatable, such an honest write-up about the dating culture specifically in Indian context, glad to read this piece and know that the frustrations are for real and ppl do get fed up of this trending culture that exists today and they do hope to meet ppl and hope to fall in love

    The last line is exactly the same question I have and seeing you write it down makes me feel thank god there are others who feel the pain. But great job that you put the question out there, which still remains unanswered:

    but how do we find love without having to settle for patriachy, mindless games is still a question!

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